From the Front Porch
I know two people who wanted to make a change.
Person 1 has been saying "I just want more fulfillment" for three years. At every dinner party, every event catch-up, every "how are you really?" conversation.
Everyone nods. Everyone agrees. "You deserve that." "You should definitely find that." "I hope you do."
No one challenges it. No one questions it. No one tells them they're wrong.
Three years later, they're still saying it. Nothing's changed.
Person 2 said something different six months ago.
"I want to leave my corporate job and teach."
Immediate pushback.
"You're going to throw away 20 years?"
"Teachers don't make money."
"You're too old to start over."
"What about your retirement?"
"That's selfish with a mortgage and kids."
Person 2 faced judgment. Doubt. Resistance from people who supposedly cared about them.
But here's what happened: Person 2 is teaching now. Part-time while they transition. Scared. Uncertain. But moving.
Person 1 is still talking about fulfillment.
You know the difference?
Person 1 stayed safe. Person 2 got specific.
Vague wants protect you from judgment. "I want to be happier" can't be wrong. No one can tell you that's a bad idea. No one can say you're not qualified for happiness.
But no one can help you get there either.
Because "happier" isn't a destination. It's not a decision. It's not something you can take action on.
It's a shield.
Specific wants expose you. "I want to teach" can be challenged. People can tell you all the reasons it won't work. They can judge your choice. They can question your qualifications.
But specific wants can actually come true.
You've been keeping your want vague because it feels safer.
It is safer.
It's also why you're still stuck.
A Hard Truth
You're not confused about what you want.
You're protecting yourself from judgment.
"I want to be happier" is safe because no one can tell you that's wrong.
"I want to leave my job and teach" is dangerous because everyone has an opinion about it.
So you stay vague. You keep it abstract. You say things like "I'm figuring it out" and "I'm exploring my options" and "I just want more fulfillment."
And everyone nods. And nothing changes.
You already know what you want.
You're just too scared to say it out loud because once you do, people can tell you all the reasons it won't work.
Vague wants can't come true. They can only keep you comfortable.
Specific wants can fail. But at least they have a chance.
Today's Shift
The Specificity Framework:
Step 1: Write the Vague Version
What have you been saying you want?
"I want to be happier."
"I want more fulfillment."
"I want things to be different."
Write it down. Look at it. That's the shield you've been hiding behind.
Step 2: Write the Specific Version
Now write what you actually want. The terrifying specific thing.
Not "I want more fulfillment." What does that mean?
"I want to leave my job and teach."
"I want to start my own business."
"I want to move across the country."
"I want to end this relationship."
Write the specific thing. The thing that makes your stomach drop.
Step 3: Face the Judgment
Write down every reason someone could tell you it won't work.
"You're too old."
"That's not realistic."
"You'll regret it."
"That's selfish."
Write them all down. Look at them.
Those are the words you've been protecting yourself from by staying vague.
You've been choosing those words over your life.
What's Next
Tomorrow: The Compromise You Never Made - You've admitted what you want. You've faced what waiting costs. You've named why wanting feels dangerous. Now we deal with how you ended up in a life you didn't choose... and what it takes to choose differently.
Bottom Line
Person 1 is still talking about fulfillment three years later.
Person 2 is teaching.
The difference wasn't courage. It was specificity.
Vague wants keep you safe. Specific wants expose you to judgment.
But only specific wants can come true.
— Damien
