From the Front Porch
Yesterday I told you we'd talk about protecting your energy investments from people who want to spend it for you.
But here's what I realized: The biggest threat to your energy isn't other people.
It's you trying to operate in the wrong season.
December 2011. My dad died.
We weren't close. He wasn't around when I was a kid. I knew him as an adult, but never in a significant way. A few conversations here and there. Surface-level stuff. Nothing deep.
So when he died, I thought I'd just... move on. It shouldn't affect me, right?
Instead, I was thrust into planning his funeral with siblings he was more of a father to than me. Which I was glad for... glad he'd been there for them. But it also meant sitting in a room full of grief I didn't quite share, planning a service for a man I barely knew.
After that, I couldn't focus. I'd start projects and abandon them. I'd be in the middle of a conversation and realize I hadn't heard a word the other person said.
I kept thinking: Should I feel something? Am I supposed to be sad? Why don't I feel more?
Then I'd catch myself feeling angry. Or relieved. Or guilty for feeling relieved. Or sad about things that never happened, conversations we never had, advice he never gave, the relationship that was never going to exist now.
I wasn't grieving who he was. I was grieving who he wasn't. And who I'd never get the chance to know.
That's harder to process than regular grief. Because there's nothing concrete to miss. Just the weight of "never."
I tried to push through it. Told myself I was being dramatic. He was barely in my life... why was this taking so much energy?
But it was. Every day felt like walking through mud.
A friend finally said, "That doesn't mean it doesn't take energy to process."
I gave myself permission to stop pretending I was fine. I said no to new projects. I let myself be distracted and heavy without needing a reason that made sense.
It took months. Messy, unclear months where I didn't know if I was getting better or just getting used to it.
But eventually, the heaviness lifted. Not all at once. Just... gradually.
Grief is a season. But so is transition. Recovery. Uncertainty. Major life changes. Empty nest. Career shifts. The in-between moments when you're not who you were but not yet who you're becoming. All seasons.
But you can't skip winter just because it doesn't look like you thought it would.
A Hard Truth
You're not failing. You're just in the wrong season for what you're trying to do.
Spring is for planting new things. Summer is for growth and pushing boundaries. Fall is for harvesting what you built. Winter is for rest and letting things settle.
You can't harvest in spring. You can't plant in winter.
And trying to force the wrong work in the wrong season doesn't make you disciplined, it makes you exhausted.
The people who seem to have endless energy? They're not superhuman. They know what season they're in and they work with it, not against it.
Stop forcing growth when you need rest. Stop judging yourself for needing a season you didn't plan for. Stop comparing your winter to someone else's spring.
The season you're in isn't wrong. Your refusal to honor it is.
Today's Shift
The Energy Seasons Framework:
Step 1: Identify Your Current Season
Look at your life right now. What season are you actually in?
Growth season (capacity is high, momentum is building)
Harvest season (reaping returns from previous investments)
Conservation season (energy is limited, focus on essentials)
Transition season (between chapters, unclear what's next)
Be honest. Not what season you wish you were in. What season you're actually in.
Step 2: Match Your Strategy to Your Season
Growth season: Invest heavily, start new things, push boundaries
Harvest season: Collect returns, celebrate wins, enjoy the payoff
Conservation season: Protect energy, maintain what matters, say no to new
Transition season: Reflect, rest, prepare for what's coming
Step 3: Stop Fighting Your Season
If you're in winter, stop trying to plant spring crops. Rest. Reflect. Let the field recover.
The next growth season is coming. But only if you let this season do what it's supposed to do.
Your energy will return. Just not on your timeline.
What's Next
Tomorrow: Your Energy Portfolio - We've covered investments, compound effects, and seasons. Now we put it all together into a complete system for managing your energy like the finite, valuable resource it is. The full framework for building momentum instead of just managing depletion.
Bottom Line
I still think about that season after my dad died. The heaviness. The confusion. The guilt for feeling anything at all.
I'm glad I stopped fighting it. Glad I let winter be winter.
The next growth season came. But only because I honored the one I was in.
You're in a season right now. Stop pretending you're in a different one.
— Damien
